Second Chance At Life

Verse

2011-02-07T13:20:00.000-08:00

Today I read this verse and I thought it was something worth sharing -

Receive and experience the amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, deep, deep within yourselves. Philippians 4:23 The Message

Itty Bitty TBall

2010-07-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my parents had us play lots of sports. We all (meaning my brother, sister and I) were all given a natural athletic ability that I am sure comes from my Dad, and we all excelled in sports. At one time in my life I played a sport every season: soccer, basketball, softball, and volleyball. I also played competitively in soccer and basketball. Sports was something that my parents felt were essential in a child's growth and development. It's always good to have a healthy competitive spirit, it taught you discipline, teamwork, thinking more "team minded" rather than about yourself, loyalty, and a strong sense of self and your capabilities. As long as I was in sports, I stayed out of trouble, and it also helped keeping me stay in shape and being healthy. This is something that I will be very proactive about passing down to Austin. I feel a lot of my independence comes from my days as a sports player, and I want to pass that along to my son. Austin will learn all the lessons I did when I was young, sports will mold him as a person, and I think he will be a better person because of it.

This year I found a Summer program called Itty Bitty TBall and I jumped at the chance. This program helps children from three to six to learn the basics of Baseball. Such as learning the bases, how to catch a ball, and how to hit off a tee. Austin was a little lost this first time, but I know he will get the hang of it. He actually already has great ability in hand and eye cordination, and can throw the ball like no other three year old I have seen...I just gotta get him to stand instead of wanting me to pick him up at practice. Here are a few pictures of his first day. Watch out Giants!!!

And he catches the ball!

Playing Catch

Baseball Stance

What's on Second

Un-Friending Jennifer Knapp

2010-06-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

I read this on Justin Wise's Blog. I thought it was really great what he had to say and wanted to share....

It’s true. Jennifer Knapp is a lesbian.

As someone who listened to her music during college, I immediately took an interest in this story for various reasons:

1. At one time, Jennifer was the shining star of the contemporary Christian musical world. For an older generation, this would be like Amy Grant coming out of the closet.
2. The social and relational implications of her admission have sent a shockwave through the evangelical world. She will lose most of her remaining fans, and more than likely lose any sort of Christian recording contract she’s maintained during her hiatus.
3. As an amateur social scientist, I want to observe how people react. It is fascinating to watch the way people–namely Christians–have reacted to this news.

Jennifer did a few interviews, one for Christianity Today and another for The Advocate. I read both of them and I’d encourage you to do the same. Here’s a few few tidbits that really struck me:
Christianity Today
-------------------------------

“I’m certainly in a same-sex relationship now, but when I suspended my work, that wasn’t even really a factor. I had some difficult decisions to make and what that meant for my life and deciding to invest in a same-sex relationship, but it would be completely unfair to say that’s why I left music.”
…

“It never occurred to me that I was in something that should be labeled as a ’struggle.’ The struggle I’ve had has been with the church, acknowledging me as a human being, trying to live the spiritual life that I’ve been called to, in whatever ramshackled, broken, frustrated way that I’ve always approached my faith … So it’s difficult for me to say that I’ve struggled within myself, because I haven’t. I’ve struggled with other people. I’ve struggled with what that means in my own faith. I have struggled with how that perception of me will affect the way I feel about myself.”
…

CT: Have you ever felt like you had to choose between your faith or your gay feelings?
Knapp: Yes. Absolutely.
…

“The Bible has literally saved my life. I find myself between a rock and a hard place—between the conservative evangelical who uses what most people refer to as the “clobber verses” to refer to this loving relationship as an abomination, while they’re eating shellfish and wearing clothes of five different fabrics, and various other Scriptures we could argue about.”
…

“I have a lot of fans who live in real-life scenarios, not just live within the walls of their church. They aren’t surrounded by Christians all day long; they don’t just listen to Christian music. I have a lot of critically thinking fans who are trying to sort out their lives as Christians as best they know how. I think as a result of that, a lot of them have been marginalized; they’re still seeking to be Christians but not always measuring up to the marketed idea of who they should be.”
…

“It’s not on my agenda to convert the world to a religion, but to convert the world to compassion and grace. I’ve experienced that in my life through Christianity.”

The Advocate

“The rumors dogged her then as they dog her now. They said Jennifer Knapp canceled all her gigs and sold every inch of gear save one acoustic guitar because she was a lesbian. She stopped answering her e-mail, going months without talking even to her mother or her manager, because she was a lesbian. She dropped out of sight because she was a lesbian. And now, poised to release her first studio album in years, Jennifer Knapp is ready to face those rumors.

Turns out they’re true: Jennifer Knapp is a lesbian.

Kind of. She resists the label, insisting that it feels unnatural and foreign, that she’s just the Jennifer Knapp she’s always been, just with a significant relationship with a woman … She fell in love with her girlfriend (whose name she chooses to not reveal), and after eight years together, there’s no denying that anymore.”
…

“And then there was the rift between her faith and her sexuality. ‘I thought I had to exchange one for the other,’ she says.”
…

“Knapp no longer feels like being gay and being Christian are in opposition, even if others do. ‘I’m quite comfortable to live with parts of myself that don’t make sense to you,’ she says. She acknowledges that such peace is hard-won in her community. ‘I keep running across people living closeted, who have literally chosen one or the other,’ Knapp marvels. And she knows she risks losing some of her biggest fans when word of her sexuality goes public. ‘I think it’s going to be shocking and feel like a betrayal to some people who live their spiritual lives through the music they listen to,’ says Knapp.”
…

“But then there’s the e-mail Knapp receives from a young fan asking, if she is a lesbian, to please come out: ‘That would help me feel less alone.’ Over the free-ranging hour we’ve spent together, it’s the first time Knapp’s voice cracks. No matter how personal her transformation might be, telling the world is inescapably, publicly important.”
-----------------------------

We can see that Jennifer is not wrestling with the issue of being gay, but wrestling with how the Christian community will treat her. That seems backwards to me. That doesn’t seem right for some reason. It feels “off.”
Not a Debate

My purpose in sharing this is not to debate the Scriptural positions on homosexuality. My point is to highlight the fact that Jennifer seems to be “bracing for impact” from the Christian community rather than running into the arms of the Body of Christ. Is this a case of shooting our wounded?

For many Christians, this “coming out” will put a very real face to a very controversial issue. Previous fans of Jennifer will chastise her, berate her, unfriend her, call her unfaithful and declare her hell-bound. Sadly, the impact that Jennifer is bracing for will hit hard and fast and leave her feeling alone and rejected.

Can I ask you, follower of Jesus, to not be one of those people? You don’t have to agree with her lifestyle, but you do have to treat her with the honor that is due to one who bears God’s image. Prove Jennifer wrong and suspend judgment… Just for a minute. See if you can use this as an exercise to love someone who you don’t agree with. “Mercy triumphs over judgment.“

Please? Let’s be the type of people that Jesus dreamed of.

Painting Picture of Egypt

2010-06-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Most people know the story in the Bible, found in Exodus "the exit from Egypt" and how Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt and through the wilderness. God offers them a covenant; they are to follow his instruction, and he will give them Canaan, the Promise Land. Unfortunately, the Israelites disobey God and find themselves wondering in the wilderness for 40 years before they see the promise land, due to their disobedience. In the story, the Israelites are slaves in Egypt and when God frees them from that bondage, and they do not see the promise land right away, they begin to complain and say they were better off in Egypt. I am not sure why that was their response, maybe they were tired, maybe they didn't like not having control, maybe they were lazy. Whatever the reason, what was ahead of them was surely better than what was behind them.

I have been in a place in my life latley, that when I look ahead, it feels overwhelming. With the amount of school I have left to finish, with bills seeming to never end, with not having the family I thought I would have for myself and Austin, sometimes it seems easier to cling to old things, old people, old habits. I kind of throw myself a mini pity party once in awhile. I know that this is a tool that Satan uses to attack me to make me feel like things will never get better. I heard this song that Sara Groves sang about the Israelites wondering in Egypt and it hit home. Especially for the way things are with a certain person in my life. It seems to easy to do what is comfortable. I get caught in between what I know, and the promise God has for me. I know the promise will be way better than what I could make up for my own life, and this song just really showed me what God wanted me to hear. I will be faithful and remember I am striving for the promise God has for my life. That even though I may cling to what is comfortable, I have learned to much and have grown out of my old self and what has come along with that.

Skating Night

2010-06-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

I have always been really into skating. It is something I think is really fun to do, took lessons when I was little, and enjoy it in my adult-hood now and then by myself or with friends. This time around it was Austin's turn to go skating.

We are currently on a trip in So Cal and the first night we were here, we took Austin to the skating rink for a first try. It was hilarious. Most of the people in my family are pretty good skaters, and by the end of the night Austin wasn't half bed himself. He gave up once, a little frustrated, telling me "I do not do well!" But I convinced him to go around for one more try. We all kept telling him "baby steps, baby steps" and he took baby steps, and about halfway around the rink, he was skating on his own. Hopefully I can get him back out on the rink when we return home to Santa Cruz. Until then, it will be a great memory for me of a fun time that we had, and a time when Austin didn't give up! That's my boy :)

Austin and his Daddy

2010-05-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I received these pictures from Austin’s Nana the other day and just had to share. Adam and Austin went on a little trip for Christmas to go and cut down a tree for Adam’s house. They also decorated it together. I know it is way past Christmas, but I just thought these pictures were to precious to not share. Also, please do not call child protective services on us with the saw picture. I swear Adam was watching Austin and was keeping him safe....teasing!!!

Just plain asinine

2010-04-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

I saw something the other day that really upset me. I haven't really been able to stop thinking about it. It all started at Bible Study when Beth Moore talked about a day when it would be illegal to be a Christian; speaking about the end times. She said that we should hope everyone else still gets a voice in their cause, and what they are fighting for because when they loose theirs, we loose ours.

It got me thinking a lot about the whole gay-rights movement and the hate that is brought upon it by Christians. I happen to not have a problem with the gay community at all. I'd sure love to talk to Ellen in heaven as I am a huge fan; I also really like Adam Lambert and his music and also George Micheal. I happen to even have a few friends that are gay. It wouldn't bother me if they were able to get married, and I don't put their sin any higher than another. It is all the same in God's eyes. I know that a lot of Christians would disagree, but from personal experience, I know God meets you where you are at, in the thick, overbearing garbage we entangle ourselves in...whatever that garbage may be.

I then watched this news report of a gay solider who died for our Country in Iraq. A church had a great idea to show up at his funeral and protest his life-style. They even had little children carry signs stated things such as "God hates Fags" "Burn in Hell" "Too Late to Pray" and "You're going to Hell". You can watch the News Report below. After watching it, I went ahead and looked up this church. Their website address is http://www.godhatesfags.com/ To me that is just plain asinine. I don't understand why people like this tarnish Christs name, when he came in love. I do not understand why they would ruined this boys funeral, or why they would want to judge people in such a harsh way. I feel sorry for the family, I feel sorry for that church. I am particularly upset about how these people are bringing their children into this lie and having them march around with signs.

Christ came in love for all and he has grace and mercy overflowing for all. As Beth Moore did say. If they loose their voice, we loose ours. It is said that crimes against gays is up 81 percent. That makes me so sad that we would build up so much hate for what we do not understand and abuse these people in such a way. I do not believe that God would ever approve of this hateful behavior and I am sickened by how Christians think that this behavior is acceptable. This case is now being taken to the Supreme Court, and I hope the Father wins. I's sure like to be there, holding a sign that says "God loves everyone!"

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)

And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. (1 John 2:2)

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

-------------------------------

You can watch the News report on this at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a39HwNYHAHs

You can also check out the group on Facebook for more information at:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=355406162379&v=app_2392950137#!/group.php?v=wall&gid=355406162379

Austin Turns Three!

2010-03-24T14:07:00.001-07:00

On Febrauary 28th, my little boy turned three. Two weeks later, we had a big train birthday for him since he loves trains so much. Over 40 people came including friends, family, and kids. It was a fun time to get together and celebrate Austin!

Austin with his Godmother Hilarie. The family came down for the day to help out. Thanks guys!

The cake my Mom made for the party! She is pretty talented!!

The Spread - Sandwich bar, green salad, broccoli salad, potato salad, chips. Yum!

We rarely get these, so I thought I would post. Austin's family. Mommy, Austin, and Daddy.

GPop made a wagon train. The kids loved it!

Becky lent her skills and face painted. Austin got a train on his arm.

Blowing out his birthday candles!

The helpers of the day, Justine and Jess, working the craft table where the kids made their very own train frame.

Look what I got!

Austin hanging out with his bud, Luke. Rubbing his eyes after a long day of partying!

School Time

2010-02-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I have blogged and many changes have taken place in these past few months. One of the many is that Austin is now in school. He started Playschool at Mt. Hermon last Tuesday. My Mom and I have been talking about him going to school when he is three, and that time is finally here. I am really excited about what this will add to his life with all the playing and fun he will have, and learning to share and communicate better with others. He is thrilled about going and getting to play with other children, so this makes for a very pleasant experience in him going so far. He is very social and independent like his mother. Here is a short video of one of his favorite activities that day. They were dancing to a song, and he is the little one in the green sweatshirt. The cutest part of this video, is what Austin says in the end. His buddy Sam was there too. They both started going to school together to make it an easier transition. However, Sam was having a tough time being away from his Mom and brother. So Austin is saying to Sam,"Sam! Sam Look!" trying to get same to come over and dance with them. I thought is was very sweet.

Just a little update...

2009-11-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything in awhile, so I thought I'd give a little update of what has been going on in Austin and my life lately.

Austin is now four months away from his 3rd birthday. Where does the time go? It seems like not that long ago when he was born. Beside the onry spell he has now and then (I wonder who he got that from??), he is such a joy to be around. Some of his favorite things to do include: anything having to do with trains, painting, reading, exploring outside, playing with water, dancing to music, church, and time with his friends Peyton and Sam. He is learning and growing so much. Austin can count to 20, knows his ABC's, sings more than a dozen songs the whole way through, and knows all the colors. His list of songs that are his favorite that he can sing include: ABC's, I Love You, Twinkle Twinkle, The Lord's Prayer, Jambo, A Bushel and a Peck, and There's Room at the Cross for you. It has been a joy watching him grow up and become a big boy.

Also, in regards to Austin is a praise report. Austin is no longer on his previcid and is no longer throwing up. Thank you to all who have prayed for him. It means so much to us. He is now officially a healthy two and a half year old boy.

A quick up-date on me...I'm still working at Tam Communications part time and enjoying it. I am going to school full-time, and also taking on the new project of trying to learn Spanish. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking taking on school, a job, and being a full-time Mom, but I am pushing through. The rest of my time is spent with my family, Austin, and the wonderful friends I have made over the past two years. I also took over as being the Life Group Leader for my group I was attending, and also go to a Beth Moore Bible Study once a week. God has been good to me over the past few months as I have truly seeked to do his will. I am thankful for what he is doing in my life right now and in Austin's; we've come a long way and I thank God for Austin's good health.

Last I will leave you with some pictures of Austin over the past month or so, and a verse I read yesterday that I thought was amazing.

Live in Love, Jess

2 Corinthians 8:9
For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.

The Next American Idol

2009-09-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

Pro-Life

2009-08-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

I have always been Pro-Choice since as far back as I can remember. I never saw an issue with people having an abortion. To be honest, it was the first thought that crossed my mind when I found out I was pregnant with Austin. I remember sitting outside my house, after getting off the phone with Adam, and thinking, "There is no way in hell I am doing this or telling my parents." (Sorry for the Hell, but at the time that was really what I thought. Trying to be honest here.) A small voice inside then said, "You're gonna have this baby with Adam, and it will all work out. You are going to do this." I will equate that now to the first time God was pulling me in His will, and I actually listened. Now, I cannot imagine my life without Austin in it. He has been such a blessing and joy to me, my family, and Adam's family.

After my experience of having Austin, I am no longer Pro-Choice. Not that I really want to get political here, cause that really isn't what I want my blog to be about. This is just one of the many things that God has changed in my heart. Seeing what can happen if you decide to give the life inside you a chance, I just don't understand how anyone could have an abortion anymore. I mean, I get it; it sucks sometimes, it's hard work, a lot of judgement can be cast on you, you feel so alone and shameful at times, but the rewards and benefits that you receive from choosing life outweighs it all in the long run. And I don't really remember those negative feelings so much anymore. It gets better, and there are rich blessings that come. If I didn't take that chance, Austin wouldn't be here, and that is a life I would never want to live.

I do a walk every year for called Walk for Life, and I would like to start getting involved in more things like this. The walk is coming up this next month. I participated in it last year, where my Mom, Austin, and I walked. I desire to help other people like me make good choices, with resources available to them to take the right steps in their choices. One of our friends, Marc Armstrong, calls Austin the "Pro-Life Poster Child." Like we did last year, I will be walking for my Poster Child, in hopes that other women can use the Pregnancy Resource Center to help them make the tough decision that I did.

I read this article in a Christian magazine about Abortion a few months back. I saw this picture in the article and it will be forever ingrained in my mind. It is a photo of Baby Samuel that was taken in 2000 and published first in USA Today. A 21 week old fetus suffering from spina bifida was removed from the womb. During the operation, a photographer took a photograph. This is a fetus age where women do have abortions. Clancy, the gentleman who took the photo said this about it:

Clancy explains that "During a spina bifida corrective procedure at twenty-one weeks in utero, Samuel thrusts his tiny hand out of the surgical opening of his mother's uterus. As the doctor lifts his hand, Samuel reacts to the touch and squeezes the doctor's finger. As if testing for strength, the doctor shakes the tiny fist. Samuel held firm. At that moment, I took this 'Fetal Hand Grasp' photo."

Clancy, who was Pro-Choice, is now a Pro-Life activist after this experience.

Austin's First Wedding

2009-08-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend Austin participated in his first wedding. Josh is the newest addition to the Wilson family, who married Sarah, my cousin, over the weekend. They asked me if Austin could be the ring bear, and I obliged. I was a little worried that he would be freaked out by all the people when he walked down the isle, but he did a great job. A pillow was set up next to me so that he would know where to go, and I put skittles on it so that he would stay next to me. The best part was he talked mostly the entire time during the ceremony, laid down, danced to music during communion, and was your typical two-and-a-half-year old that cannot sit still when he was on stage. Austin really enjoyed the dancing at the reception; this kid is a dancing machine. He looked so cute, and the wedding was beautiful. An overall success! Congrats Sarah and Josh!

A Time of Refelction

2009-07-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

A few things have happened to me in the past couple of months that have really made me start to think about my life and where I am going. Because of this I devoted a month to changing things up a bit for myself, and spending some time refelcting on my life. This is the third week of this time of refection.

I have given up going out and doing anything with friends, tried to sleep more, Adam and I have been going to counseling, getting into the word again, and I am being furgal with funds. Also, Adam and I have been asked by our counselor to pray for each other and ask God to help us forgive one another, and we will be participating in further sessions. Needless to say, this has been a real growing period for me, and I see God really pointing out some major things in my life that I need to work on.

I don't ever want to be one of those people "stuck" or being "stagnint" and I thank God for the oppurtunity to be able to reflect on my life and see the changes that I need to make. I have gone through so much these past two years, but sometimes I am unable to deal and process it due to all I have going on currently. It's nice to be able to sit back and reflect, just take some quite time for me.

I ask you to pray for me in this time of refelection, and also for Adam and I, that God will do a work in both of our lives!

Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, " Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? " Jesus answered, " I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Finally Home

2009-07-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Mercy Me sings a song about the experience they will have when we finally make it home to heaven. When things are hard here for me, and I am feeling discouraged, there is something about this song that just lifts my spirits. It puts things back into perspective for me that there is a much bigger picture, and this is all only temporary. I sing this song a lot, and Austin has picked up on some of the words of one of Mommy's favorite songs. Here's a little video of him and I singing it, and then the lyrics. It's a powerful song and I look forward to the day where we all make it to our real home!

Finally Home, Mercy Me
I’m gonna wrap my arms around my daddy’s neck
And tell him that I’ve missed him.
And tell him all about the man that I became
And hope that it pleased him

There’s so much I want to say
There’s so much I want you to know

When I finally make it home
When I finally make it home

Then I’ll gaze upon the throne of the King
Frozen in my steps
And all the questions that I swore I would ask
Words just won’t come yet

So amazed at what I’ve seen
So much more than this old mind can hold

When I finally make it home
When I finally make it home

And the sweetest sound my ears have yet to hear
Voices of the angels

When I finally make it home
When I finally make it home

2009-06-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

This week we have been gearing up for Royal Family Kids Camp. This is a camp that our church became a part of, that helps abused and neglected foster children in the Monterey/Santa Cruz system. Last year I was lucky enough to be apart of it for the first time, and this year I will be as well. Because I have Austin I am not able to do full-time counseling, but I am able to do night relief which allows me to be there to hang out and play with the children for the evening, and put them to bed. I am ecstatic about being apart of it again. Being apart of Royal Family Kids Camp hits two key parts of me: my love for children, and my empathy for children who are troubled and have been abused. Thanks to my Dad who will be babysitting this week so that I can be apart of it in this small way.

This music video is a song that Sarah Goves wrote for children in Rwanda, after a trip she took there. It applies so much to how I felt after last year’s week with these children, and I am sure it will be my theme song once again for this year. Please pray for the children that we will be encountering. We have such an opportunity to make a difference in their lives. And please pray for us as a staff as well; they make such a huge impact on all of our live; at least they do in mine.

Favorite Words

2009-06-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

Here is Austin saying two, well, three of my favorite things he says. The first is organge becuase he says it "Oh Yeah!" The second being chocolate pudding becuase I've never heard something more precious.

Lastest Picture of Austin at his Dad's

2009-05-21T16:08:00.001-07:00

Austin goes to his Father's house every Thursday and Friday while I am at work. Sometimes I am lucky to get a call or a picture from them during their day. It's always nice when Adam does this because I really miss Austin during the day at work. And of course, it is always positive for Austin to spend the two days with his Dad. Here is the most recent picture that I have received. Dressed like a little skater. He is getting so big!

What encouragement!

2009-05-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

I read these two verses today on the Lifechurch.tv website. I check out their blog often; and I find a lot of encouragement through it. Thought I would pass it along to encourage others as well. This verses speak to me directly. I look forward to what God has in store for Austin's and my life, and he has already done so much. Although I may get discouraged at times, and feel stressed, God is in control of my life! I will remain pactient, and wait for the joy that lies on the other side obedieance. Excited to find out what God will bring our way!

“These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day.” Hab 2:3

“God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of –infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” Eph. 3:20

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents

2009-04-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a pictures, or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely: don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I'm only here for such a short time-please take this time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs; don't nag me all day long. ( You wouldn't want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness.) Treat me as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement, not your criticism, to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail; so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I'll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.

8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me to my brother and sister.

9. Please don't be afraid to leave me for the weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations for kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.

10. Please take me to Sunday School and church regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.

Easter

2009-04-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

This Easter was special on so many levels. First and foremost, it was a celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Easter is such an important Holiday to Christians because it is the basis of our faith. To help celebrate that, I got baptised at our home church, which was truly special to me. On top of that, the service was great and we got to celebrate this special holiday with our friends and family of CLC. This was also the first year that Austin really got the whole egg thing. So going over to his Aunt's house, and then later to his Dad's, he did great on all the Easter egg hunts. Sometimes even grabbing two eggs at a time. As always, for every holiday, it was great to see family and spend time with them.

2009-04-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

I saw this post secret the other day, and it made me smile. Despite all the stupid things that I do, God still loves me, and all of you! Have a blessed day!

Austin and Sam

2009-03-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

Every week a good friend of mine and I get our boys together for a little play date. This allows the boys to get outside to hang out with each other, and for us Mom's to have some adult time. It happens to be one of my favorite times of the week, and if Austin could tell me, I think he would say the same thing. Sam is a few months younger than Austin, but much taller and tends to be the more outgoing boy of the group. He is a little lover boy and I feel so blessed to have Mary, her husband Matt, and Sam in our lives. And proof of how much Sam is a "lover" is in the video below. He is the one with his arm around Austin the entire time. We get a kick out of these kids every week. They make us laugh.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

2009-03-08T19:17:00.001-07:00

Austin as you know, turned two. We had a party for him to celebrate that became 45 people, a jump house, three birthday cakes, loads of kids, and a ton of food. An all around good time with good friends and family. Thanks Mom, Becky, Kelsey, Justine, and all of you who put time and effort into this. Total sucess this year; not sure how we will top this! And as you can see at the top...a few pictures for those of you who could not join us.

This is amazing

2009-03-03T13:43:00.001-08:00

I used to listen to this band called Korn; even went to a couple of their concerts. This was when I was not a beliver. My Pastor recently uploaded this video to Facebook and it is about the creator and bandmember of Korn. It's from a site called I Am Second and you can check it out at http://www.iamsecond.com

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

My little baby is now a Toddler

2009-03-01T17:31:00.000-08:00

On Saturday Austin turned two. I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. It seems like just yesterday he was born. I think about all the trials and struggles we have gone through in these two years and I have so much to be thankful for. Austin is such a blessing in so many of our lives. Here are a few photos of him over the past two years. Happy Birthday to Austin!!

School

2009-02-10T14:20:00.000-08:00

Today I am going to Cabrillo to start school. Scary thought...it's been six years since I have done any type of school. The thought of homework and schedules is really bugging me out. Please pray for me as I embark on this new part of my journey. My goal is to be full time by fall. I would like to be a nurse for either children or for people with addictions. I want to be around people and help people and I figured a nurse is a good way to go. I'll keep you posted on how things go.

Austin is finally off the binkie this week. Sigh. Hopefully we can go back to full nights of sleep again. He will be two at the end of this month on the 28th. Very exciting and unbelievable to me that he is already two. I'll post pictures of his special day.

A Little Update

2009-01-16T13:26:00.000-08:00

Things have been a bit of a struggle lately for me personally. I have felt under attack lately by the enemy. I ask that you will pray for me. I do not want to believe the lies he tries to make me believe.

Austin went to Stanford again yesterday. He got copious amounts of blood drawn and many tests were taken. It was a rough day for Austin. I ask that you pray for him; that he will gain the weight the doctor's want him to, and that God will help me and my family to do what is necessary to make sure that he does. Overall, Austin health is well and he is continuing to grow in length, but not much in weight. However, we are leaps and bounds from where we were a year ago. Praise the Lord for that!!

Lastly, I would like to leave you with a few verses that I find encouraging during these times that I am going through right now.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)
13 "In your unfailing love you will lead
the people you have redeemed.
In your strength you will guide them
to your holy dwelling. Exodus 15:13 (NIV)

Have a blessed and beautiful day! Live in Love, Jess

This kid has no choice but to play basketball

2008-12-30T23:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas is now over and we are on our way to the New Year. I am excited for 2009 and all the things the Lord will bring to Austin's and my life this next year. Just wanted to let you see one of my favorite pictures of Austin this Christmas. The big gift that Grandma and Gpop got Austin this year was a Little Tike's basketball hoop. This present was a huge success. My parents already have gotten their money's worth on this one because not only does Austin play with it non-stop, but Auntie Justine and Uncle G have not quit playing with it either. I am sure it is no surprise to you all who know me and my family that Austin is not even two and has a basketball hoop already. What choice does the kid have? With a family full of hoopsters he has no choice but to become the next generation baller. I can't wait. This was the last gift for Austin to open and as soon as it was unwrapped it was put together. Here is a picture of Austin's first shoot...a "nothin' but net!" Check out Grandma and Gpop cheering in the background.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

2008-12-15T14:26:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite time of year by far. For obvious reasons this Holiday is very important to me but I also love all the things that come with this time of year. The lights, the parties, the caroling and hot cider, decorated Christmas trees, giving gifts to those you love, pretty packages, Christmas cards, Christmas movies and all the rest that comes with the Holidays Season. This time of year leaves you with such a warm feeling inside. I am excited for this year when Austin will be a little more aware as to what is going on. Last year he was too little, so he didn't really have a clue what Christmas was. I hope he enjoys it as much as I do. So far we are off to a good start this year. He loved going out and looking for the Christmas tree.

The Relationship Between Spunkie and Austin

2008-12-09T11:10:00.000-08:00

This video is a little old but I thought I should let everyone see it. Austin and Spunkie have quite a special relationship that consists of Austin pestering Spunkie until Spunkie can't handle it anymore. Don't get me wrong here; Austin is not mean to the dog at all. It's just that I think Austin likes Spunkie a little more than Spunkie like Austin.

Steps in the Right Direction

2008-11-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

Today I am going to get my license. For those of you who have known me for a long time know that it has been about four and a half years since I have had it. Getting my life "cleaned up" has been quite a struggle to say the least, but I am plugging away. And as I take steps in the right direction and focus on things that are important, I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. God has been so merciful to me and I am just thankful for gifts like these. Tomorrow I will be twenty five and able to have the freedom to drive again; something that people take for granted. One step closer to where I want to be, one step closer to being the Mom that I need to be for Austin.

I have been studying a lot about how the Lord takes care of our needs and that we do not need to worry. These are a few quotes from some kids that I thought were really great. You can find these and more at http://www.kidstalkaboutgod.org

"The Lord has been my shepherd when I got my tooth knocked out," says Kinsey, age 11.

"Lambs like to lie down in green pastures, not bad brown pastures," says Mary, 10. "So that means he takes care of us and wants the best for us."

"Every time you go to the store, you don't have to ask for everything," says Meredith, 6. Or as Haleigh, 9, says: "He will supply every need. I should realize that there is a big difference between my needs and wants."

"We shouldn't want to be without him!" says Derek, 9, who takes us to the heart of the matter. "I think it means we are his sheep, and we don't know anything," adds Olivia, 8.

Live in Love and have a blessed day!

My little pumpkin

2008-11-11T09:53:00.000-08:00

Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays when you have a child. It is so fun to dress them up in a costume and show them off to all of your friends and family. I know that in years to come it will be even more exciting when Austin can pick out his outfit and actually go trick-or-treating. This year my Mother bought a Zebra costume for Austin and we thought it was hilarious. Austin did not like the costume at all until he was able to see himself in the mirror in it; then our little ham was perfectly fine. Our church has a Harvest Fest every year to celebrate Halloween as an alternative activity and Adam and I took Austin there this year. Here are a few pictures of your little guy dressed up at the Harvest Fest.

Transition Period

2008-10-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

Lots of new things have been going on in mine and Austin's life right now. Some personal things have been taking place with me that have been some of the hardest things that I have ever had to deal with. I also may not have a job at the end of November and am trying to figure out going back to school. My Grandparents are remodeling their home and then will sell their home and move down south; which means we will be moving out. I'm usually able to adjust to change fairly well. But lately this has not been the case. Having recently recommitted my life to the Lord, I find my old ways creep up often. For instance I like to be in control. I found myself trying to figure out ways to deal with these situations rather than count on God to take care of them. It has been a struggle giving everything to him and remembering that he is in control of my life so I do not have to worry about the future. Please pray for me that I will find the courage to take the hands off the steering wheel and let go, and let God. Pray that I would truly be confident in the Lord and his plan for Austin's and my future. I found this verse that really spoke to me and I thought that I could share it with you.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour. Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you.” Isaiah 43:1-4

Autumn is here

2008-10-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

I love this time of year and all the colors and the Holidays that come. Austin and I took a little weekend trip with my Mom and Dad up to Silver Lake, by Tahoe, to enjoy the sites and the beautiful Autumn colors. We stayed in a Hotel and got to lay around and enjoy time with the family. The drive up was so beautiful; such a beautiful creation. Here are a few pictures of our trip and of Austin all bundled up.

JT Style

2008-10-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

I took this picture of Austin today in Sunday school class and had to show it off. He is totally sporting the JT (Justin Timberlake) look and I thought he looked so cute. Vans and a tie. Now that is one rad dude!

Are you rude?

2008-10-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my Mother and I watched Oprah. The topic of conversation was Are You Rude? It was a very interesting show and made me think a lot about our country and how we all treat one another. It reminded me of all the times my Dad said that my friends should not call the house phone after nine because it was not proper edict. Growing up we were taught manners and were expected to keep them. At the dinner table if we were rude my Mother would send us to "Siberia." Back then I would just roll my eyes at my parents and just think they were being ridiculous. Now I see how important that it was for my parents to instill these character traits in me. People are so rude now, and in such a rush all the time. We forget that they are not the only ones that have things to do. People are rude to the ones that serve them, or take their money at a gas station, or the Security Guard at the airport. This show really opened my eyes to this. It also had a lot to say about technology and how it has made our country impolite and impersonal. One of the quotes they used was "We never touch someone so lightly that we don't leave a trace." Everything that we do has an effect on someone and can ruin their day. When you are polite and courteous to others you are showing that you respect them and their time. I think that especially as Christians we need to be ultra sensitive to those around us. Making sure that we are showing God's love as opposed to worrying about where we need to go or what is on our To Do list. You never know what impact you will leave on someone. They took a poll before the show and 80% of American thought that we as a country are rude, and 99% of people thought they were not rude. Seems to me that we can all learn to be less rude. I hope to instill manners in my son, so that he will show God's love and give people better days rather than worse ones. That Austin will show others respect, and hold on to things I have taught him. Thanks Mom and Dad for all those proper edict lessons :)

Answering yes to any of these questions means that were being rude at the time you did these things. Are you rude? Want to take the quiz? Go to this link http://www.oprah.com/survey/oprahshow/20080909_tows_rude or answer the following questions below.

1. Are you chronically late?

2. Have you ever typed an e-mail while talking on the phone?

3. Have you ever interrupted a face-to-face conversation to take a non-urgent cell phone call?

4. Have you gone through a supermarket 10-item express lane with more than 10 items?

5. While among friends or co-workers, have you yawned without covering your mouth?

6. Have you ever texted or talked on a cell phone in a movie theater?

7. Have you let your dog relieve himself on your neighbor's lawn?

8. Have you ever cut in front of someone in line?

9. Have you ever stolen someone's parking spot?

10. Have you ever let your child kick the back of the seat in front of him and not apologized to his victim?

11. Have you ever not RSVP'd to an event by the date requested?

12. Have you ever gossiped?

13. Have you ever taken someone else's food or drink from the office refrigerator?

Post Secrets

2008-10-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

I follow a blog that is called Post Secrets. I heard about it through one of my life groupers and have been hooked ever since. People send in their deepest, darkest secrets on a post card to this address anonymously. Every week on Sunday they post the best secrets they received for the week. It is really interesting what people have to say. Some of the secrets are just like yours, others make your jaw drop open wide, some make you want to cry, some are sad and quite sickening and you can't believe they sent something like that in, some secrets are very deep. We all have secrets and we all have questions and I think that is one of the points of this blog. If you are interested and want to check it out click on this link:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

This secret was posted the a few weeks back. It is also my secret.

Go Giants!

2008-10-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Recently Austin and I attended a Giants game with my Mom and Dad, aka Grandma and GPop. The Giants won which was awesome and we got to enjoy ourselves at the beautiful AT&T Park for the last home game. Austin got a new Giants hat to represent our favorite team, enjoyed a hot dog and some milk, and spent some time with some of his favorite people. To top it all off we caught a ball! Well, I caught it but gave it to Austin. :)

Dancing Machine

2008-10-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Austin is in love with music. He is constantly bobbing his head, dancing, and jumping to whatever tunes are currently on. He gets really into it. Here is the latest example of Austin "getting down" to some music on the TV. Great Grandma Wilson and I are laughing in the background.

It's a rough world out there baby, but I got your back!

2008-10-03T14:20:00.001-07:00

Austin Perry Wilson Long. Sutter Hospital in Santa Cruz. Born February 28th, 2007.

My New Blog

2008-10-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have decided to start a blog to document Austin's and my life. My hope is that all of our family and loved ones that are not near us can be updated through this blog. Austin is such a joy and learning something new everyday. I did not want anyone to miss out on it! God has also touched my life in a deep way and I hope to let you all know about it here. You can be here with us through reading about our experiences as a family.

The reason that my blog is called "Second Chance At Life" is because that is what I feel that I have been given. As many of you know I was living a worldly life, and hadn't been a Christian for about eight years. Through this experience I am seeing what I had been missing out on all these years. There is NOTHING like a relationship with Jesus. It is not always easy, but everyday it gets a little easier. I have begun to feel the peace of living a life that honors Him, and He is making me whole. I have a wonderful family who has been so supportive and loving to me and my son. Let's just say that God knew what he was doing when he gave me Austin for it brought me back to Him. With Austin came my second chance, and more blessings that I ever thought imaginable.

I will try to post as much as I can. So many exciting things happen everyday. Hopefully you will find joy in watching Austin (and I) grow. Lastly I would like to leave you with a song that really explains how I feel about my life right now.

I Just Showed Up For My Own Life
By Sara Groves

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I'm going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that's honest and real until I'm truly amazed
I'm going to feel all my emotions
I'm going to look you in the eyes
I'm going to listen and hear until it's finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I'm standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
Oh, look what I've been missing!!